Rest Isn’t Lazy
September 4, 2025
The Guilt We Feel About Rest I can't tell you how often one of my clients tells me "I feel guilty when I rest." I feel this is due to the fact that we live in a "hustle culture." Society always tells us to "rise and grind" and "I'll sleep when I'm dead." At some point in our society, rest became equated with laziness and the message that if you are not constantly doing something, you are falling behind.
Redefining Rest as Essential Self-Care
Rest is not lazy, it's not weakness, it's taking a pause to give our heart, mind, and body a time to reset and recharge. Rest is one of the most powerful tools you can give your body. Rest allows you to grow, heal and actually perform better in all areas of your life. If we do not rest, burnout is inevitable.
Your Nervous System Needs Recovery
Think about rest like you think about exercise, muscles don't grow due to constant use, they grow during recovery. If you push your muscles too hard they tear down. Our nervous system operates the same way. If we are under constant stress, we remain in constant "fight or flight" mode. Rest is what tells the body "you are safe now."
Rest as an Investment, Not a Waste
What I encourage my clients to do is not to think of rest as a waste of time, look at it like an investment in yourself. Rest allows us to keep showing up for ourselves, our goals, and our relationships.
5 Practical Ways to Rest
1. Take micro-breaks. Even two minutes to stretch or breathe can make a difference.
2. Create boundaries with tech.
Our brain needs to take space from constant input. Put your phone in another room, turn off notifications, or commit to no scrolling before bed.
3. Create transitions. Have a small ritual that signifies work is done and rest begins.
3. Create transitions. Have a small ritual that signifies work is done and rest begins.
4. Find active rest.
Rest doesn't always mean stillness. Walking outside, stretching, yoga can clear your mind and recharge.
5. Give yourself permission to rest. You don't have to earn it, you deserve it because you are human.
My Personal Approach to Intentional Rest
Personally, I have learned that rest has to be intentional for me. I have to guard rest the same way I guard my other priorities. This means at home I prioritize my evenings, sleep, and spending time outdoors. I create space for doing things I enjoy like cooking, reading, or doing nothing at all. It has taken time for me to allow these things into my life.
At work I build in transition time between clients and keep my caseload manageable. I know the quality of my work is directly correlated to the quality of my rest.
Building Rest Into Your Life as Non-Negotiable
I talk to my clients about the fact that if they are waiting to rest "until everything is done," you will be waiting forever because everything will never be done. The idea is to build rest into your life as a non-negotiable, the same way you build in time for doctors appointments and meetings.
Starting Small: Your First Step
The idea is to start small, pick one thing, putting your phone away at night, a five minute break, or a short walk.
Try it this week and see how it changes your energy.
Rest isn't lazy, it is essential.
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Between the news cycle, decreasing hours of sunlight everyday, and the chaos associated with the upcoming holiday season, it would make a lot of sense right now if you’re feeling stressed. Or really stressed. For what it’s worth, you’re in good company—according to the American Psychological Association, 89% of people say they feel increased concerns this time of year around things like social pressure to make the holidays ~perfect~, spending too much money, food/alcohol issues, and family drama. Does any of that ring a bell? (If it does, congrats! You are definitely a human being.) While tempting, you don’t have to turn to self-destructive coping choices like isolating yourself or relying on substances right now. You have other options. These are some of my favorites, all borrowed from DBT: 1) Practice accepting emotions as pieces of information. When you’re feeling a strong feeling, name it. Own it. Allow it in. Validate it. Assume that you’re experiencing it because your body is trying to protect you. Thank yourself for having received the info, and accept that even if you don’t know why that emotion is getting kicked up for you, it probably makes sense from a perspective that you’re not considering right now that you can unpack later in therapy. 2) Cope ahead. Picture ahead of time how certain stressful situations will likely play out during the holidays, and make a literal plan on what you’re going to do in different scenarios to keep your stress regulated. Work with your therapist to explore skills from setting boundaries to deep breathing for moments that feel particularly tricky. 3) Remember that you always have four options to choose from when trying to solve a problem: Change the situation (even if that means leaving it or opting out entirely) Learn to love or at least feel better about the problem so that it isn’t a problem anymore Tolerate and accept both the problem and how much you hate the problem Stay miserable and do nothing For example: Let’s say you secretly hate eggnog, and your family has a yearly eggnog appreciation event. Here are some of your choices: A. Don’t go to the event. Plan something fantastic to do by yourself that day. (Remember: Alone time is not the same thing as isolation!) B. Go all in with a green suit and make being the Eggnog Grinch your fun new role at the party C. Let yourself hate eggnog and the party, and go anyway—but while you’re there, commit to internally experiencing the party as though you were an anthropologist studying a particularly peculiar group of people D. Continue to secretly hate eggnog, go to the party, and try again in 2025 If you go with option D, it’s definitely going to be worth exploring in therapy 🙂 If you or someone you know needs support now, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org/chat. If you’re experiencing an emergency, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. Written by, Rachel Christensen, LMSW
Mindbody connection and nervous system regulation are the new approach to mental health treatment. Learn about Polyvagal Theory in simple terms and find a therapist who can help you.
The body remembers even if the mind forgets.
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