What Therapy Is and Isn’t

July 25, 2025

 Starting the Conversation

When potential clients call, the first thing I say is, “tell me a little bit about what you would like to work on and if you’ve been in therapy before.” And then I lean in. People tend to talk about the things in life that are stressful, relationships that are challenging, and sometimes earlier times which may or may not have been traumatic.

The Therapeutic Relationship

A cornerstone of therapy is the therapeutic relationship. From this place of unconditional positive regard trust is built and a safe container is established. In therapy the relationship can be a place to try on familiar dynamics and ways of relating. It can be a place to try on new skills such as boundary setting and self-advocacy. It can be a place to learn how to repair. 

Informed Consent and Collaboration

Another important aspect of therapy is informed consent. You should always know what you are signing up for, literally! Therapy happens in a collaborative setting where the client always has a say in how treatment is unfolding. Clients should be encouraged to share what feels good and what doesn’t. A good therapist should also review things like the practice privacy policy, emergency protocol, preferred modalities, what can reasonably be expected in treatment, and the therapist’s responsibilities as your provider such as Duty to Warn.

The Role of the Therapist

Finally, the gold standard of care in therapy, neutrality. Our job as therapists is to attune, to bear witness, to reflect back a client’s truth so that they can sort things out. Therapists hold space, assist with reframing, and sometimes offer education or skills, as clients move through their healing process. What therapists are trained to avoid is allowing their own personal reactions, opinions, and views to shape the client’s process. One of the most challenging questions a therapist can hear is, “what should I do?”. Therapy is not advise giving but rather the gentle and persistent reminder of hope.


The Heart of the Work

Healing like therapy takes time and sometimes lots of repetition. Therapy is attuning, reflecting, being curious, witnessing, validating, and at times sharing wisdom. Therapy is helping folks remember the love they have in their hearts and the strength they have within. 

Presence of Mind Therapy Blog

February 10, 2025
What Is a Work-In Practice?
counseling center
January 23, 2025
There are a few great reasons why you should visit your local counseling center. Keep reading or contact us today to learn more.
December 4, 2024
Between the news cycle, decreasing hours of sunlight everyday, and the chaos associated with the upcoming holiday season, it would make a lot of sense right now if you’re feeling stressed. Or really stressed. For what it’s worth, you’re in good company—according to the American Psychological Association, 89% of people say they feel increased concerns this time of year around things like social pressure to make the holidays ~perfect~, spending too much money, food/alcohol issues, and family drama. Does any of that ring a bell? (If it does, congrats! You are definitely a human being.) While tempting, you don’t have to turn to self-destructive coping choices like isolating yourself or relying on substances right now. You have other options. These are some of my favorites, all borrowed from DBT: 1) Practice accepting emotions as pieces of information. When you’re feeling a strong feeling, name it. Own it. Allow it in. Validate it. Assume that you’re experiencing it because your body is trying to protect you. Thank yourself for having received the info, and accept that even if you don’t know why that emotion is getting kicked up for you, it probably makes sense from a perspective that you’re not considering right now that you can unpack later in therapy. 2) Cope ahead. Picture ahead of time how certain stressful situations will likely play out during the holidays, and make a literal plan on what you’re going to do in different scenarios to keep your stress regulated. Work with your therapist to explore skills from setting boundaries to deep breathing for moments that feel particularly tricky. 3) Remember that you always have four options to choose from when trying to solve a problem: Change the situation (even if that means leaving it or opting out entirely) Learn to love or at least feel better about the problem so that it isn’t a problem anymore Tolerate and accept both the problem and how much you hate the problem Stay miserable and do nothing For example: Let’s say you secretly hate eggnog, and your family has a yearly eggnog appreciation event. Here are some of your choices: A. Don’t go to the event. Plan something fantastic to do by yourself that day. (Remember: Alone time is not the same thing as isolation!) B. Go all in with a green suit and make being the Eggnog Grinch your fun new role at the party C. Let yourself hate eggnog and the party, and go anyway—but while you’re there, commit to internally experiencing the party as though you were an anthropologist studying a particularly peculiar group of people D. Continue to secretly hate eggnog, go to the party, and try again in 2025 If you go with option D, it’s definitely going to be worth exploring in therapy 🙂 If you or someone you know needs support now, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org/chat. If you’re experiencing an emergency, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. Written by, Rachel Christensen, LMSW
October 7, 2024
Mindbody connection and nervous system regulation are the new approach to mental health treatment. Learn about Polyvagal Theory in simple terms and find a therapist who can help you.
By Maureen Schafer, LCSW June 5, 2023
The body remembers even if the mind forgets.
By Maureen Schafer, MSW, LCSW February 28, 2023
Physical Boundaries – This includes protecting and maintaining your personal space, your comfortability with touch (i.e. handshakes, hugs), and your basic physical needs, such as resting, eating food, drinking water, going to the bathroom, etc.   Emotional Boundaries – This includes discerning when is the appropriate time to share or not share emotions to prevent “emotional Read more » The post 10 Types of Boundaries That You Need appeared first on Presence Of Mind Therapy.
By Maureen Schafer, MSW, LCSW February 17, 2023
Boundaries are not metaphorical invisible fences and walls that we put around ourselves to keep people out. A boundary is in fact a useful mechanism that helps make it easier for others to get close to us. Boundaries allow us to create healthy relationships by building a sense of trust with another. By setting healthy Read more » The post Healthy Boundaries: What Are They And Why Do We Need Them? appeared first on Presence Of Mind Therapy.
By Maureen Schafer, MSW, LCSW February 6, 2023
Have you ever thought about beginning a meditation practice, but are not quite sure where to start? It may seem a bit overwhelming at first, but it does not have to be. Here are some tips and suggestions that may help guide you in building your daily or weekly meditation practice. Ultimately, you will want Read more » The post How To Start A Meditation Practice appeared first on Presence Of Mind Therapy.
By Maureen Schafer, MSW, LCSW February 6, 2023
The ideal candidate for this position will be a NJ licensed therapist that is able to work with a variety of populations using sound clinical theory and judgement. Niche and specialty experience are preferred. Presence of Mind Therapy prides itself on holistic healing via the mind-body-spirit connection and so licensed therapists with an interest in Read more » The post Join Our Team appeared first on Presence Of Mind Therapy.
By Maureen Schafer, MSW, LCSW January 26, 2023
Everybody is different and this fact is extremely relevant when it comes to anxiety treatment. If you feel like you are having a hard time with this treatment, there are a few tips that you can use. In this article, we are going to look at four different tips to help you get the most Read more » The post 4 Tips to Help You Get the Most Out of Your Anxiety Treatment appeared first on Presence Of Mind Therapy.
More Posts