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Between the news cycle, decreasing hours of sunlight everyday, and the chaos associated with the upcoming holiday season, it would make a lot of sense right now if you’re feeling stressed. Or really stressed. For what it’s worth, you’re in good company—according to the American Psychological Association, 89% of people say they feel increased concerns this time of year around things like social pressure to make the holidays ~perfect~, spending too much money, food/alcohol issues, and family drama. Does any of that ring a bell? (If it does, congrats! You are definitely a human being.) While tempting, you don’t have to turn to self-destructive coping choices like isolating yourself or relying on substances right now. You have other options. These are some of my favorites, all borrowed from DBT: 1) Practice accepting emotions as pieces of information. When you’re feeling a strong feeling, name it. Own it. Allow it in. Validate it. Assume that you’re experiencing it because your body is trying to protect you. Thank yourself for having received the info, and accept that even if you don’t know why that emotion is getting kicked up for you, it probably makes sense from a perspective that you’re not considering right now that you can unpack later in therapy. 2) Cope ahead. Picture ahead of time how certain stressful situations will likely play out during the holidays, and make a literal plan on what you’re going to do in different scenarios to keep your stress regulated. Work with your therapist to explore skills from setting boundaries to deep breathing for moments that feel particularly tricky. 3) Remember that you always have four options to choose from when trying to solve a problem: Change the situation (even if that means leaving it or opting out entirely) Learn to love or at least feel better about the problem so that it isn’t a problem anymore Tolerate and accept both the problem and how much you hate the problem Stay miserable and do nothing For example: Let’s say you secretly hate eggnog, and your family has a yearly eggnog appreciation event. Here are some of your choices: A. Don’t go to the event. Plan something fantastic to do by yourself that day. (Remember: Alone time is not the same thing as isolation!) B. Go all in with a green suit and make being the Eggnog Grinch your fun new role at the party C. Let yourself hate eggnog and the party, and go anyway—but while you’re there, commit to internally experiencing the party as though you were an anthropologist studying a particularly peculiar group of people D. Continue to secretly hate eggnog, go to the party, and try again in 2025 If you go with option D, it’s definitely going to be worth exploring in therapy 🙂 If you or someone you know needs support now, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org/chat. If you’re experiencing an emergency, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. Written by, Rachel Christensen, LMSW